Today I ….

Written by RJ on December 8, 2014. Posted in Discovery, Healing

~ prayed for my soul mate’s soul and held her rings like I was holding her hand

~ came home and made brunch while streaming jazz and alternative Christmas music from a website called Songza

~ found my late mother’s four-foot artificial table-top Christmas tree in my basement and assembled it in my dining room

~ had an explosion of emotion (I burst into tears) while working on that tree and thinking of gifts I won’t be putting under it

~ talked to some stranger about him buying the Honda minivan that we bought 9-1/2 years ago and I need to sell

~ went to the North Pole on the Polar Express train with my daughter and granddaughter and drank not so hot chocolate and saw Santa

~ thought about what my granddaughter thinks about her grandma not being with us and hated that I had to think about it

~ helped her not to be afraid of Santa when she was, and took pictures of her smiling sitting next to him when she was brave

~ talked to my daughter about her losing her mom, me losing my wife, and tried to make both of us somehow feel better

~ heard her say while standing in my rearranged kitchen “It’s weird that Mom’s not here.”

~ made a date with my granddaughter for a sleepover on Tuesday night and started thinking about what I would make for dinner

~ researched the possibility of donating the Honda minivan to a breast cancer charity instead of selling it

~ learned that my Cleveland Browns lost to New England after leading by 12 points with 2 minutes left in the game and didn’t care

~ finished the other half of a bottle of Malbec that I opened last night and made a new post to daddyojones.com

It was a pretty full day. Some sadness, some fun, some healing, some pain. And for much of it, two beautiful girls at my side. How could I go wrong?