March 8, 1981

At 4:34 this morning, I boarded an Amtrak train for New York City. I am going there to visit briefly with my son, Patrick who moved to Manhattan three days ago, I am also going there to reclaim my minivan that he used to transport his belongings and drive it back home tomorrow.

 A little more than 32 years ago. I also boarded the 4:34 Amtrak for NYC. That time was different though. I wasn’t alone that time, I had a young woman named Coleen with me. She wasn’t my wife then, she wasn’t even my fiance yet. Although that would change before we returned home.

Back in 1981, and ever since, Coleen was the idea person. She was the one who came up with suggestions that seemed like the last thing you would think about doing. Until you thought about doing it and realized it wasn’t as far fetched as you thought, That’s how the Amtrak to NYC thing started. She wanted to go to New York for her birthday in March. At first,I balked because it seemed too daunting of a task. She persisted, I agreed, plans were made.

Coleen did have two obstacles in her scheme. Her parents. At that time she was only 20 and was still living at home. Her parents, especially her dad, did not think she should be dating a 27 year old divorced guy like me. Coleen thought otherwise and so did I.

She couldn’t tell them that she was going to New York with me so she told them instead that we were going to Cleveland for the weekend to visit my family. Somehow she thought that would be an easier sell to her parents and I guess it was because they never questioned it. Come to think of it all these years later, I don’t think they ever knew the truth about our whereabouts that weekend.

At this point, I had known Coleen about 6 months. I felt like I knew her forever. And whatever it was I knew about her, I liked it. I can sometimes be a little impetuous, impatient, or in a hurry to do something that feels good and I am excited about. Six months to me at that time, seemed like just about enough time for me to know that I was deeply in love and wanted to be with this girl all the time, There was something special about us and I knew it.

I had a friend from work named Norm and about two weeks before our NYC trip, I asked him if he knew of a good jeweler. “Why, you going to get engaged?” he joked. “That’s right. I think I am. At least I hope I am.” Norm did know a good jeweler and it was located downtown Buffalo on Main Street just a few minutes from work. It was called Sid Birzon Wholesale Jewelers and believe it or not, is still in business although in a different location. Norm came with me and helped me pick out Coleen’s engagement ring. It was modest and simple, yellow gold with some etchings and a small diamond. I don’t remember how much it cost but it couldn’t have been a lot because I didn’t have a lot.

My plan was simple.I was going to smuggle that ring aboard the 4:34 Amtrak to NYC, sneak it into the hotel  room and secure it safely until the time was right. Then sometime on her birthday I was going to spring the ring and the question and hold my breath until she answered. So her New York City birthday weekend was about to be supplemented by a marriage proposal.

I don’t recall the exact sequence of events of that weekend but we were busy and had a lot of fun. As was to become her long standing custom, Coleen researched the city and had a pretty good idea of what she wanted to see and where she wanted to eat and I didn’t argue. We stayed at the Essex House which was by Central Park. Went to Staten Island, The Empire State Building, Macy’s, Central Park, and so much more. We saw an off Broadway play called “Lunch Hour” which starred the late Gilda Radner from Saturday Night Live fame.

 All through that weekend, I was anxious about proposing to Coleen. Maybe anxious isn’t the right word.Maybe it should be nervous or frightened. Whatever it was, it produced an excitement in my belly. I was also nervous about the ring. I didn’t want to lose it or have it stolen so I pretty much kept it with me at all times and kept checking to see if it was still there, in it’s case,in my pocket. I was thinking about asking her a day or two before her birthday just so I could stop worrying about the ring.

Coleen turned 21 at 8:08 AM that Sunday, March 8, 1981 in New York City. We had room service breakfast and went out exploring Manhattan for the day. We had dinner reservations for the Rainbow Room, a fancy restaurant atop the Rockefeller Plaza for that evening. Back in our room before dinner, one of us had suggested taking a bath together. Probably me. At this point I still was without a solid plan on my proposal technique. I thought this taking a bath together thing had some possibilities. I got the ring and hid it in my hand. With us both naked and wet, facing each other in a tub of water, I took her hand, told her I was madly in love with her and asked her if she would spend the rest of her life with me. I slid the ring on her finger. She said yes. And she kept her promise.

Later that night we had a wonderful dinner at the Rainbow Room. Afterward, we took a horse and buggy ride through Central Park. It was a pretty romantic conclusion to that weekend. It was a weekend I will never forget. We were engaged and ready to start new chapters,new books, new lives together. So exciting.