Tremendous Strength, Incredible Beauty
Sometimes I wonder why I do some of the things I do. And then I do them and something happens as a result and I say, “Oh, that’s why I did that.” It doesn’t always have to be a big thing like retiring or buying a new car. Sometimes it’s just deciding to go out for some music or to meet someone. Or today when I went to a yoga class at the last minute.It wasn’t quite the last minute. I have actually been planning to go since Christmas when my daughter gave me a gift certificate to Healing Waters, the studio where Coleen attended so many classes. I also attended two separate six-week Intro to Yoga classes there and I was anxious to continue with yoga. Yesterday I had an epiphany telling me that I needed a lot more yoga in my life so I decided to attend the 9:30 AM class this morning. It was “Gentle and Restorative Yoga” and was one of Coleen’s favorite classes there. She attended it often. I will admit to procrastinating about yoga since Christmas and I was pleased with myself when I left the house a few minutes early this morning even though the temperature was below zero. I could have easily used the “it’s too cold to go anywhere” excuse, but I didn’t.
As I drove this morning, the sky was clear and the sun was shining brightly in my driver-side front window. There was a song playing in my car that I was hearing for the first time called “Until the Colours Run.” I didn’t know what it meant but I liked it. I drove past a patch of tall trees and the sunlight flickered through them and pulsed through my window onto my face, winking at me. The song hit the chorus, the sunlight perfect, open road ahead and a sudden surge of goosebumps made its way up and down my spine and through my crown. I was very peaceful just then, content, on my way to one of Coleen’s favorite places. Knowing I wasn’t alone.
Today was the first time I attended an official, open yoga class. Today I wasn’t just another beginner trying to learn yoga without pulling a muscle or making loud noises. I was in a class with people (women) who were experienced and I was expected to have a working knowledge of yoga. I was very comfortable with that and kind of proud actually when the instructor said “table position” or “downward-facing dog” and I knew what to do. I am still very much a beginner, but I didn’t feel out of place today. The Gentle and Restorative class is just that. It has a lot of stretching and restoration of the body using assorted yoga postures. What I especially liked about it was that it also stretches and restores the mind and the spirit through those same yoga postures. I was very receptive today and able to cleanse my mind of thoughts that didn’t belong in that room. I was very able to be present. I heard things differently today than before.
At one point our instructor Sue, had us in mountain posture which is basically just standing straight, still and strong. She was encouraging us in that posture and said “… like a mountain. Tremendous strength, incredible beauty.” Tremendous strength, incredible beauty. What a beautiful thing to hear. I have heard all those words before although never strung together in that sequence. And in hearing them spoken so confidently that way, I took confidence and comfort from them . I can be that. Everything can be that. Coleen epitomized that. I heard those words like it was the first time I had heard the English language. They sounded so inspiring to me.
I heard other things clearly today too. I heard my body talk to me, telling me it was okay to challenge it more. That it could absorb a little more stretching, it could go little further. And I heard my mind tell me the same things. It was ready to be cleansed of some emotional debris to make room for new creations and thoughts. And of course, I heard Coleen very clearly. It made sense that she was there. That was when I realized why I decided yesterday, after postponing for over a month, to attend yoga class today. It was when we were relaxing in meditative postures toward the end of the class. Sue was reading a beautiful reflection about letting go and behind my closed eyes, I was seeing the most brilliant shades of fuchsia I have seen. They were swimming in and out of clouds, playfully, changing shades from light to dark, tempting me to give chase. It was the same vision I have had during reikis and massages. The same vision I always get when Coleen visits. The colors were fitting of the message Sue was reading about letting go:
“…The energy will be a part of you forever. It has made you what you are today. What will be, will be what you create. If you move forward hopefully, happily, expectantly and joyfully, then that will be your new experience. We can drag the past with us as heavy baggage, or we can carry the blessings and memories of the past as a beautiful memento. We can face the future with apprehension or with faith. One thing is certain, there will always be a past we must make peace with. There will always be a future we must live. The way we let go can make all the difference.”
With the vision of fuchsias floating around those wonderful words spoken about letting go, I couldn’t help a few tears leaking from my eyes. I guess that was probably the point where the “Oh, that’s why I did that,” realization kicked in. That’s when I knew for certain why I did what I did today and why I was at Healing Waters. I had a date to be there. A date to learn about having Tremendous Strength and Incredible Beauty from the strongest, most beautiful person I’ll ever know.
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This is the entire reflection that Sue read today. I think it’s beautiful and am so happy she shared it with me. You know, if I had waited until tomorrow or next week to attend a yoga class, I wouldn’t have heard this.
“Letting it go – it is a rite of passage. We all face those moments throughout our lives. Time and circumstance repeatedly require that we let go of what we know – the old, the familiar, the comfortable – and embrace the “next”. There are people who spend their whole lives resisting those moments. They hold on, physically or energetically to the past, and they never really find peace in the present. Whether we must move beyond a person, a property, an employment, a location, an activity or something else, we have only two choices. We can go gently and easily – or not. We can go confidently – or fearfully. We can go looking forward – or looking back. We can hold on, or we can let go. What has been, whether you judge it good or bad, has been filled with lessons, and blessings, and experiences. Honor them all. Take the time to remember with gratitude and appreciation. Understand that nothing you have ever done will ever be lost. The energy will be a part of you forever. It has made you what you are today. What will be, will be what you create. If you move forward hopefully, happily, expectantly and joyfully, then that will be your new experience. We can drag the past with us as heavy baggage, or we can carry the blessings and memories of the past as a beautiful momento. We can face the future with apprehension or with faith. One thing is certain. there will always be a past we must make peace with. There will always be a future we must live. The way we let go can make all the difference.”
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