Norm
Norm and I were unlikely friends. We met in 1980 when we worked for the same company. Aside from that, we didn’t have much in common. Norm was about four years older than me and was what we called back then as a motorhead. He liked cars, liked breaking them, racing them and fixing them. Norm is one of those guys who can fix anything or build anything. It doesn”t matter if it’s made of wood, steel. concrete or dirt, Norm is an expert. It’s funny, but I know several guys like him with talents like that.Norm was with me almost from the very start. I don’t recall specifically if he was at Major Hoople’s Restaurant the first night I met Coleen but he must have been because we were both there almost every night for happy hour. I think he went home early that evening because he was not there when I gave Coleen a ride home after she finished her waitress shift. Anyway, Norm and I were good friends and while dating Coleen, we would get together with Norm and his wife Carmen for dinner or drinks on occasion. And later on, when Coleen and I were planning our wedding, I asked Norm to be my best man.
Norm and I worked together so we saw each other every day and along with another co-worker named Steve, often had a few cocktails before going home after work. One of those evenings was memorable as it was just Norm and I and it was a different bar than we usually frequented. The date April 11, 1981 and the reason I know that was because the following day was the launch of the first space shuttle, Columbia. Norm and I were both fascinated with events like that and started talking about it when we first sat down at the bar. We both ordered Chivas Regal scotch on the rocks and as the bartender poured, he ran out and opened a new bottle. Norm and I were apparently there longer than we had planned because when we had our final Chivas that evening, the new bottle was also empty. Our boss was out with us one night and he referred to us as “professionals” when discussing our drinking prowess.
Norm was a great choice for best man and he played that role well. Coleen and I saw him a lot prior to the wedding and I liked it that she and Norm got along so well. Not long after we were married, we had some cutbacks at work and Norm was layed off. We still stayed in touch but it was a little different not seeing him every day. Norm helped us move in our house and he even did some work on it for us which he wouldn’t take any money for. He did accept the case of beer and bottle of scotch I bought for him, though. We saw each other less frequently though and as time went along, we drifted further apart, each focused on our own lives more and more. Then we lost touch entirely. I tried to look him up a few times but couldn’t find a phone number. I knew that he had divorced his wife and she left town but not much else about him.
One Saturday I was returning home from a lunch with a different old friend. I stopped in a convenience store near my house to buy something and was standing at the register waiting to pay. I heard a voice from the register to my right say “ID? I’m old enough to be your grandfather, for Chrissake, and I have to show you ID?” I didn’t have to look to see it was my old friend Norm, trying to buy a 12 pack of Labatt Blue and giving the kid behind the counter a hard time for trying to do his job. I spoke up and said to the clerk, “It’s okay. I can vouch for this guy. He’s really old.” Norm turned and looked at me. He paused before speaking, almost like he was trying to focus on me, recognizing but not believing. It seemed like a five second delay before he spoke. “Rob?”
So there it was, standing at the register of a 7-11 that Norm and I were reunited. Kind of. He was with his wife and we talked for about 30 minutes promising at the end to get together. We exchanged phone numbers and parted and still have not seen each other since. Friendships are stupid sometimes and I am not as good with them as I should be. Especially with this one. I of all people should know better than that.
Norm and I spoke on the phone several times since that encounter. Shortly after we met, Coleen was diagnosed with her second bout of breast cancer and I mentioned that to him. And I think we talked on the phone once or twice after that before she passed away. When Coleen died, I called people but I never called Norm. It wasn’t like I was ignoring him, it just never occurred to me to let him know and it should have. Was it a subliminal slight because of how close we once were and because he was there from the start? I don’t know, maybe. I think I just forgot to call him and I should not have. Not long ago, Norm called me to say hi. At that time, Coleen had been gone about four months. Of course, Norm didn’t know. I told him. I felt horrible telling him about her death and of course he felt horrible hearing about it. He deserved to hear that news when it happened and I should have delivered it to him.
In three days I am going to finally get together with my old friend, Norm for lunch. After all this time, we will reunite and talk of our lives then and now and in between. Is it ironic that I am writing about Norm 33 years to the day of when he was the best man at our wedding? I don’t know about it being ironic but it is certainly way overdue.
Norm and I in our usual pose back then. Cigarettes and scotch in our hands, smiles on our faces. Wedding receprtion, June 6, 1981, Samuel’s Grand Manor, Clarence, NY
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