Here It Comes … Again

Written by RJ on September 6, 2014. Posted in Coleen, Discovery, Healing

Lindsay is the one who first noticed it. She feels that her mom talks to her through music, especially when she is driving alone without her daughters. That is the time when Lindsay is least distracted and has the most awareness. One of the songs that Lindsay heard frequently was the Beatles classic “Here Comes the Sun,” written by George Harrison. Legend has it that Harrison wrote the song at Eric Clapton’s house after a harsh England winter and during some internal struggles with the business side of the music business. It was his optimistic plea for better days.

During the past year, I have heard that song more than any music. Admittedly, I have chosen to play it frequently but there have been many occasions when it has just presented itself almost at random, almost just barely noticeable in the background. Many of those times have been during family gatherings, others have been much more private listenings at opportune times. I know that our entire family has heard Here Comes the Sun” frequently and I believe passionately that it is not a coincidence. Strange as it might sound, I concur with Lindsay that hearing that song is in fact a message from Coleen.

So what’s the message? What part of the lyrics is so specific to our situation? To me, it’s all of it. There are really only three different lines to the entire song plus the chorus of “Here comes the sun and I say, it’s alright.” The lines, each preceded by “Little darling,” are “It’s been a long, dark, lonely winter,” “The smiles are returning to their faces,” and “I feel like ice is slowly melting.” And then each of those lines is followed by a variation of “It seems like years since it’s been here.” Pretty simple stuff for such a classic and legendary song. Here’s how I interpret those words and personalize them as a message to me:

The “long, lonely, winter” is Coleen’s death. The “smiles returning to their faces” is the healing process I am going through. I also think of my granddaughters when I hear this line as they have especially taken to this song which they refer to as “The Sun Song.” And of course “I feel that ice is slowly melting” is an extension of my getting better and moving on with my life. The Sun? That’s the newness, the hope for better days, the discovery that I have many discoveries to make. The sun is my optimism for strength, courage, relationship, and love. The sun is Coleen winking at me, telling me it’s getting better and it’s okay to move forward. The sun is also the newness rising in my life, people, places, endeavors.

The most recent time I heard HCTS was one week ago. Lindsay invited me for dinner and not just me, but she asked me to bring my friend Ruth with me. Ruth and I have been together all summer and although Lindsay and I have talked about her a few times, they had not met. Shortly after we arrived, I heard it. It was playing in the kitchen on the internet service “Songza” through a bluetooth speaker I had given her for a Christmas gift. I don’t know who else heard the song but I did. I smiled and took in the music and the words and the message. That interpretation had me thinking that truly, it can be alright.

Coleen has sent that song to me many times. I thought maybe it was time for me to send it back to her. A little bit modified, a little bit personalized. It’s sung to her, to my family, to myself, and to the new people in my life.

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