Love
Coleen and I met under very fateful circumstances in 1980. I had recently moved to Buffalo from Cleveland and she had just finished breaking off an engagement. Shortly before meeting me, she told a friend that she was swearing off men for at least a year. That’s the beginning of our story. A story that included 33 years of wonder and love, two children and two beautiful granddaughters.I don’t know how to describe Coleen to someone who never met her. In many ways she was a typical wife, mom, sister, daughter, neighbor and friend. She met all the standard criteria. But what made Coleen different and exceptional was her genuine concern for people. She was a social worker by trade, but also by personality. Coleen was always reaching out to family and friends with resources and advice. She was a successful career counselor to her sister, daughter, nephew and others. She loved people and she cared.
Coleen and I always called ourselves soul mates and we had a good reason for that. We were both convinced that there was a divine presence that brought us together and kept us that way. We were brought together for a reason and we were madly in love with each other for all 33 years of our marriage. I am convinced that I will remain madly in love with her until it’s my dying day. And maybe even after that, who knows? Coleen and I had something special. It wasn’t that we had all the same interests or that we agreed on everything. We didn’t. But we always agreed to respect each other’s space and meet somewhere in the middle. I realized how special Coleen and I were together when her father, who isn’t prone to much emotional observation, remarked that “You two just seemed like you were perfect for each other.” He said that to me after Coleen passed and he said it on two separate occasions.
Coleen taught me so many things about life and relationship and family. Things I use everyday. I paid attention to how she did things and how she talked to people. Coleen was very social and always eager to engage in conversation. There is no question that I have developed some of her traits. It’s almost like she left a little piece of her behind and somehow embedded it in my DNA. I feel that strongly about how I have changed for the better.
We all know how it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. At least that’s how the poem goes. I agree with that. I have known not just love, but that special love that is unconditional and understood. That love that came from nowhere but will be my constant companion forever. I can not imagine where I would be today if not for Coleen. She was the love for me, the love of my life.
Here are some essays that describe how our love started and flourished:
