Go Fishing
Sometime around May of this year, I saw an announcement in the paper that a comedian named Brian Regan was scheduled to do a show at Shea’s Performing Arts Theater in December. Right, the show was in December but they were selling tickets almost six months early for it. Coleen and I had seen two or three Brian Regan shows on Netflix and we both thought he was very funny. Especially Coleen, she loved him. When I told her I was going to buy tickets, she agreed but said to get four instead of just two so we could take people with us. At that time I worked very close to the theater downtown and walked over and purchased four tickets from the box office. I always liked buying tickets in person because it was easier to pick out your seats and I also saved the service charge. I took them home and put them in my top drawer where I kept all of our future activity admissions.Circumstances changed between the time I purchased the tickets and showtime and I had an extra ticket. Coleen had passed away in September and for a while, I almost forgot about that show. I had already used a ticket to another concert in November to see John Sebastian that was supposed to be Coleen’s, giving it to my old friend Mark. While at that concert, I was constantly reminded of her and how she was supposed to be next to me. It was certainly bittersweet and I felt a great sadness throughout much of that evening. That concert was one month earlier than the Brian Regan show. I wasn’t sure what to do with her ticket to that event until the light came on in my head and I asked her, and now our, good friend Barb to come with us. That evening, four of us met at a restaurant downtown for dinner. It was Barb, Lindsay, Karen and me. We had a wonderful meal at a place where Coleen loved to eat and we talked about her and what she might have ordered and how she was so particular with food. We shared some stories about her and we laughed. It wasn’t quite like she was there, but the memories she evoked in us were certainly fresh and alive. I think we all felt good about what we were doing. At the theatre, we sat and talked and laughed and just enjoyed the show and what we were experiencing at that moment. Not thinking ahead, not looking back, just right there, right then. Did I miss Coleen? Yes. Was it different without her there? Yes, for all of us. But we let it be different, accepted it as different, and enjoyed the experience. All of us.
A week ago my granddaughter Samantha slept over at my house. It was just for fun and we both had a good time. One of our favorite things to do together is play the Go Fish card game (in which she says “Go fishing” instead of “Go fish”) and she wanted to play it when we got up in the morning. But we couldn’t find the cards. It had been a few months since we played and the cards weren’t where they belonged. We looked all over but came up empty. We had to go out for something anyway and I told her we would buy some new cards and we stopped at the local toy store. The owner helped me find the card game that she sold and I showed it to Samantha. She was less than excited about it and I was surprised by that. I bought the cards anyway and we left. I gave them to her in the car and she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong she said “I wanted to get the same ones as before.”
Sammie and I replaced the missing cards with different ones and they served the same purpose. Karen, Lindsay, Barb and I replaced the times we had with Coleen with a different one and still had dinner and saw the show. The Go Fish cards don’t look the same, but you can still play the game. Life without Coleen isn’t the same, but we still live it. Samantha and I played two games of Go Fish and she laughed and won and didn’t seem to mind that the cards looked different from the old ones. We all went to dinner and the show that night and laughed and talked and sometimes didn’t even notice that we were playing with a different set of cards.
“When we lose a branch from a tree, a new one will grow in its place. It won’t always be in the same spot, and it might not offer us the same shade, but it will grow and comfort us.” – RJoys
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